Getting over someone is far easier said than done. Yes, we can erase their photos, remove their texts, and block them on social networks, but those aren’t the difficult parts. It’s a whole other thing to get them out of the mind. To help us understand ways to cope with heartbreak, we reached out to Devina Kaur, Inspirational Speaker, Radio Host and Author of Too Fat, Too Loud, Too Ambitious. Devina says,
Have you ever said to yourself, ‘How can I stop caring about my ex?’ Perhaps even, ‘Why do I keep thinking about my ex?’ And like myself even, ‘I don’t give a damn! However, I do…’ You want to completely heal your heart so that you can let go of the past and move ahead into a better future. There is a method to the coping with heartbreak.
Read on to know how you can move on from a heartbreak and stop thinking about your ex, as shared by Devina.
1. Seek Professional Help
Perhaps all you need is someone to hear you instead of giving you advice. Even if you can’t comprehend why it happened, and you received no justification or closure, communicating your emotions will help you accept the end of your relationship. Consider seeing a professional to help you heal faster. Remember emotions are never right or wrong, they simply exist.
2. Let Go
‘Out of sight, out of mind’ is a real adage that works if you let it. There’s a reason your past is called the past. I recall feeling lost, devastated, and embarrassed after my marriage ended. Born and raised in India, I was conditioned, like many of us, to believe that I needed a man to save me. It got to a point where I became addicted to dating apps, including Craigslist personals. It took a long time for me to recognise that I was addicted to the concept of someone else rescuing me. It was difficult to let go of the ancient Indian thinking that a woman’s identity is determined by the success of her relationship, and it took professional help to discover that I was already whole, complete, and plentiful. I didn’t need another’s help to save myself. Similarly, remember that you are whole and complete as you are. Release the old version of yourself and embrace the new you.
3. Self-Knowledge
Breakup and divorce are one of life’s most difficult experiences. This is true while the breakup is fresh and new, and it is also true 17 years later when an old memory surfaces and you begin to cry over the agony that still stings. Recognise that you’re having trouble dealing with your wounded emotions. Spend time in solitude and stillness; get to know this new aspect of yourself and love yourself. Keep in mind that the path to self-love is love itself.
4. Uncertainty
Breakups, even when genuine, can still be terrifying. You could be drawn to new and strange pursuits, including occult studies. Remember to explore the unknown while keeping in mind that your divorce is still going on and that you need to work through your feelings. Make sure your mental, financial, sexual and most importantly, spiritual wellness are all in good shape. This is the ideal moment to recognise and embrace your feelings so that you may emerge from the turmoil with new creative endeavors and a better lifestyle.
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