Like the first time around, no matter how many books you read or people you talk to, you will never be fully prepared for the bumpy transition from parents of one to parents of two. The hardest part is to let go of the lifestyle you had. You can maintain some of it with one baby around, but with two it gets super busy and very difficult to maintain. Going for a vacation or dinner is not very hard with just one baby, but then you have two and a little sense of freedom you managed to hold on to, is gone.
It’s going to be difficult to snag moments of me-time with two kids. When there was just one baby, you could find a few sane moments during their nap times or when they were being handled by the other parent. Those stolen moments will get hard to find after two kids. With two kids, you have more on your to-do list and less time to actually do it. It may seem difficult to focus on a chore or be able to finish something without being disturbed a couple of times.
Best advice to deal with those inevitable frustrations? Take a deep breath and know like everything else, this too shall pass.
The first few months will be difficult, but after that, you will see the beauty of having two kids. When you see the two kids bonding, you’ll know that you are no longer at beck and call when your elder one wants to play, they have a sibling and will be the perfect elder brother/sister to your younger baby. Once the new baby starts responding to the elder one’s actions, you will witness a beautiful bond between the two siblings. They sometimes even develop their own games and languages that you won’t even be a part of.
When you’ve already raised a kid from infancy to toddlerhood, you kind of become an expert on all things baby, and the second time around you are more confident about the choices you make for your newborn. When you’re nursing the second time around, you’ll probably find it easier to latch the baby. You will probably be a little less anxious and might enjoy the babyhood of your second one more. The first time around, you might have been anxious about all the milestones, when will baby walk, crawl, sit, talk, etc… This time around you’ll know that time flies and you’ll savor each moment rather than anticipating the next one.
Always remember you’re not alone and you’ve got this!
We spoke to our favorite mom’s of two and they shared their advice for all the mums out there who are considering having baby #2
Simone Khambatta
To anyone planning a second child, my only advice is to do it if that’s what you want. Not if you believe your child needs a sibling or due to any family pressure. Nowadays we all tend to conceive babies in our 30’s and the energy drop is real.
Let’s not even begin with the expenses that come with kids nowadays.
Don’t get me wrong, I always wanted 2 kids, I was extremely certain of it, but it’s not easy for sure. It takes a lot of time, effort, energy, and finances.
I repeat, do it ONLY if you’re certain. Make sure it’s for the right reasons.
Rohina
I think firstly you need to just mentally prepare yourself for this next step. Just understanding how dramatically different life is with two kids as opposed to one is important. I thought that the magnitude of being childless to being parents would far surpass the change from being parents with one kid to two. I didn’t realize having a second child means parents are on duty at almost all times, no longer able to step in for one another when one parent needs a break. Ask for help – whenever you need it. Have a system in place where you have a group of friends or family who can take over when you get overwhelmed. Don’t play favorites with your kids – Recognize them each as individuals, encouraging their differences and individual likes and dislikes. No matter what you do, don’t compare them!
Tanya Khubchandani Vasta
The best way to get your kids to be besties is to talk to your elder one when you are expecting – talk, talk, talk, prepare the nursery early so they get eased into the idea, make them hear what a crying baby sounds like, talk to them about breastfeeding, and prepare them as much as you can! This reduces sibling rivalry and helps the elder one adjust – my son was only 2, and this still worked like a charm!
Rachel Goenka
You need to start involving your older child from day one. With Kabir we involved him right from the day we found our we were pregnant with our daughter, Amalia. He was excited about his new role as a big brother and would help me set up her nursery, if I folded clothes he would help me put them away. We got him involved when choosing names as well so from the get go he felt like this was his baby. There was no jealously or feeling of displacement when she was born and he’s been a model big brother ever since!
Silky Puri
People do say having the second child completes the family. But again there are few things to keep in mind before going forward for your second one.
Firstly, not both the kids will be the same. You will have to alter your parenting outlooks on the basis of your kid.
Secondly, its double the responsibility . Check your bandwidth mentally, physically and economically before taking a decision.
Thirdly, preparing your first child with the comfort of having a siblings tops the list.
Personally for me before I started planning anything else i started preparing my daughter with the idea of having a sibling.
Mehr Uttamani
For all the mommies out there planning for a second child. Enjoy all you can with your first one, get all the pampering done during your pregnancy phase because this would probably be the last time you get pregnant. Don’t fear having a second child because that would be lifelong companionship to your elder one. And once both your babies start bonding and playing with each other, you would feel content and at peace.
Karina Shetty
Contrary to popular opinion, you must not keep things equal between siblings. Each child has different needs and it is up to us to realize those moments and make them be seen as individuals. Drop the comparisons, make them a team! Fights are inevitable but helping them manage their emotions and resolve now will give them the tools to do it by themselves later in life.
Follow @malinisgirltribe on Instagram for more content like this and download the Girl Tribe by MissMalini App to join our Mommy Life community.