When we are young we believe that we have learnt everything we need to from life or so we assume for reasons beyond me. However as time goes on and we grow older or wiser so to speak, you realise that you never stop learning about life and the many things in life. So on that note, I wanted to share a personal note about the important things that I am still learning and some that I battle with. We are conditioned to believe certain things in life and it takes a good amount of time to unlearn them as well. All I can say is read along and if you relate then drop a comment or share this blog with your friends and let them know how you feel.
Here’s a look at some of the things I’m still learning:
1) Growth can be found in stillness.
A lot of the times we fool ourselves into believing that we’re only learning and growing if we’re on the move. While it is true that we learn when we’re doing something or while our mind is activated. Have you ever stopped and processed? Do you not feel like you’ve learnt most about yourself in silence? Every time that I spend time with myself alone, I process new information from the past and I learn a little more about myself. Give it a try, you’ll do some much-needed growing.
2) Taking a break doesn’t make me a failure.
We are a generation that is doomed, burn out is on the rise and none of us wants to acknowledge it. We’re afraid of being judged for taking time off and needing a mental health day. We talk boldly about these aspects on our social media profiles but when it comes down to it, we chicken out and shun taking breaks. This pandemic has taught me to be graceful towards myself. I cook, I clean, I take care of my pet and I work, even if I have help from my partner my body tires out.
One has zero mental space to be creative some days but that doesn’t make me a failure. I learnt that some days I just need to take a nap and resume work when I can truly put the effort in. So I decided on a plan to stop procrastinating, if I want to nap, I do it. If I want to eat, shower, watch a show, I do it. The sooner I take the break the sooner I am able to return to work with a better mindset. So take that break when you need it, ok?
3) It is okay to cry over things you thought you healed from.
There are many things we come to terms with many years in the future and we’ll still feel tremendous pain from it. Crying is simply a form of expression, it is not a sign of weakness. I repeat it is not a sign of weakness. When you are in pain you should cry because it helps one self-soothe. And even if you’ve healed and forgiven for what caused you pain, it is still ok to look back and cry when you think about these moments. Every day I learn to allow myself to be more human and vulnerable to the experiences of life.
4) It is ok to be patient with ourselves while we adjust and adapt to new things and people.
Everyone experiences a little bit of a struggle when they move to a new job, place, town or make new friends. There is a brief period of time where everything is unknown and we know all too well that the unknown makes us very uncomfortable. We need to remind ourselves to be patient because everyone experiences a learning curve. Some of us will have a steep one because we’re so afraid to try something new and some of us just breeze through life being unaffected by new things. It is totally okay to take time to pursue anything, even if it simply means making friends.
5) Struggling does not mean that I am failing at what I am doing.
Struggle does not equal failure. We all struggle, things get hard and we can’t keep up on some or even most days. Please remember all our journies are different, so don’t compare your life to someone else’s. Doing so will only have a negative impact on your growth and you will cease to see all the good things about your life. Struggle is part and parcel of being, it allows us to recognise all the good things in our lives. It tests our grit and our will to fight for what we want. Stay the course, you will learn that everything happens for a reason.
6) Giving up my mind and space to recharge is not unproductive.
I cannot stress how important this is. Your health and wellness should be of utmost importance. Don’t make sacrifices to get ahead at a job or overextend yourself to please the people in your life. Here today gone tomorrow and your workplace would replace you in a heartbeat. While it is fantastic to hustle and work hard, remind yourself to take time off to replenish and recharge your soul. Without a healthy dose of time off, you won’t be able to bring out the best of your abilities. This only shines through when the body is well-rested and has relaxed. How you choose to spend this time is not defined as unproductive. Just thought ya’ll should know.
7) Your dreams do not have an expiration date.
For some reason, there are these rules floating around on timelines for how a human should live. Let me just say that this is entirely bullshit. You do you, if you want to never get married, then don’t. If you don’t want kids, don’t have them. You don’t want to study, don’t study. If you find yourself at 50 that’s fine too. If you don’t know what you want from life, that is totally normal. Here’s a little secret, no one knows what they want from life. We’re all just figuring it out along the way.
Take it easy, dream your dream and work hard to achieve it. I am still learning that there is no deadline for me to explore all my dreams. This one is a hard one to unlearn because of deep-rooted universal condition about the best time to do certain things. Please don’t buy into the mirage.
8) To change your mind even after you said yes.
I am only learning this one now. Many times I commit to something only to realise on the day that this is not what I want to do. I have one of those moments where the coin is up in the air and I realise what I truly want. I am slowly learning to condition myself to be ok with having had a change of heart. It is ok if you realise it much after, just don’t do something you don’t want to do.
9) Enjoy where you are now and trust you’ll get where you want to be.
This one used to be my greatest hurdle, I was always so concerned with the future that I was always in hustle mode. This made me anxious and angry because I was fighting to control situations that couldn’t be controlled. I forced my way for years until I reached this point where I was so weary I just had to stop and recognise my toxic nature and how it was tearing me down from the inside out. I made a conscious choice to put all my energy into the present and just focus on being my best self in the current scenario. Ever since I surrendered I found that all my dreams ended up manifesting much faster.
This is not magic or luck, I worked as hard as I could and made no attempt to fear the future. This allowed me to do my best work and climb the ladder to my destination faster. Eventually, you learn to trust in the way of the universe.
10) Comfy clothes make uncomfortable times more comfortable.
Simply had to add this aspect to my blog. Lots of people talk about how they wake up and get dressed to get going for the day. I on the other hand, just stay in PJ’s and let me tell you, this is the best decision I made. I learn every day that I spend very little time on my appearance and have more time to focus on other things in my life. To be fair, with the pandemic I do have enough time on my hand to actually focus on everything in my life. But the fact remains that comfy clothes just make everything so much better.
What are some things you’re learning to unlearn about life? Share it with us in the comments below!
Join Girl Tribe by MissMalini on Facebook and Instagram to be a part of more fun conversations!