Wedding checklist, wedding checklist, wedding checklist; I can’t stress this enough because every bride and groom that I’ve talked to tells me that wedding planning is really the true testament of their relationships. Do you know why it’s a stressful time? Because you don’t have a wedding checklist and also because to be fair it’s a melting pot of everyone’s opinion. And if you’re born and raised to an Indian family, which you most likely are then you already have been prepping for this hurricane since you were born. I genuinely don’t understand what India’s obsession is with weddings. Although, I do understand parents saving for their children’s wedding days but doesn’t anyone think that this money could have been put to better use? or maybe even to secure your child’s future and maybe even your grandchild’s. But for some reason, it’s more important to please friends and family.

And people actually take out loans and go into debts for their wedding, please tell me you understand how impractical that is. Ok, I know I’m ranting but I’m nothing if not honest. And yes, some women dream of nice big lovely weddings but Indian weddings are a real production and there are too many tiny details to have to keep in mind. This is why the minute your man pops the question or the minute your folks decide on behalf of you that this is your forever. You turn to a notebook, make notes and lists and research the hell out of this wedding and make a handy wedding checklist for yourself. I think it would be fun to journal your experience to be able to look back on this day with fond memories and a much lighter pocket. I joke but you know what I mean.

Be Mindful

I’m not going to be including things like the bachelor/bachelorette party, bridal shower and after-party because I know this differs from person to person. Honestly, your wedding is already like one big party—If Monica heard me say this she’s probably kill me, but seriously do you need more parties? Also, the bride and groom may have the spending power but please think of friends and family, who have to keep gifting you things and keep having to invest in clothes to wear to your functions. It’s a really stressful time for them too. No of them will tell you it is too much for them because they are your friends but it’s time for you to be more mindful. Simple!

Anyway here’s the ultimate wedding checklist for brides and grooms:

Location

Location is key. Make sure you find one that will fit the number of guests you want to have. Where you can accommodate a dance floor and even comfortably have an eating area. If it’s a destination wedding then you ought to narrow down your options, regardless of visiting these places before booking them is a must to size up how and what can be done with the space. A good practice is to take your wedding planner along with you, so they are able to pull out the best references for your decor. This needs to be at the top of your wedding checklist because it can be quite time-consuming.

Accommodation: If it is a destination wedding

Of course, you need to consider where you would be putting up your friends and family to stay while they celebrate your wedding. Try finding hotels and Airbnb‘s closer to the venue so everyone is comfortable and you wouldn’t have to take on the added expense of transportation, unless that is the cheaper option then that works too.

Catering

So important, I need people to be satiated with the food they consume. And it’s important to find someone who can give you exactly what you’re imagining. I would do a taste test for sure.

Wedding cake

Same with my cake, I would ask to see images of the look and feel and then also would want a tasting of the cake as well. Some indulgence right before having to give all kinds of sugar up, no?

Theme

Set the theme of your choice, it could simply be colours you like or based on a movie as well. Whatever the choice it should reflect you and your partner. You can take this theme to your planners, caterers and graphic artist to build on and tell you how to go about incorporating it into elements and things.

Invitations

The first thing I would do is get started on my guest list, with that in place, I would know for sure how many cards I need to print. How many plates of food I’d need to order and how many chairs and tables would be needed to seat guests. Your designer will be able to ideate and match your theme. For distant friends and family get your designer to send you the digital copy of your card to mail out. Another very important aspect to check off from your wedding checklist. I feel like it sets the tone for your wedding.

Decor

Everything becomes a lot easier to pick and select once your theme is in place. Besides with the help of your wedding planner you’ll be sure to get what you’ve imagined. This would also include the help of your florist who will also be arranging for the bridal bouquet, make sure you research the kind of flowers that are in bloom during your wedding month, so you’re prepared to discuss what will be available and is best-suited to your theme.

Book pandit or religious officiant

Self-explanatory this one. Make sure you book time from your officiant to get you married.

Wedding favours

Typically what you hand out to your guests at your mehendi ceremony. And fun trinkets are always such a fun take away. Some people may also hand out wedding favours with their invitations which may include chocolates or dry fruits. I would totally give people succulents as wedding favours.

Photographer

I can’t stress this one enough. This is who you need to spend on, this is what you will look back on. Not the people and faces those will be a blur. You need someone who will capture the essence of you and your partner. Don’t skimp on this one for sure because you want to ensure you have tangible proof of your forever moments and that’s why this becomes another key element on my wedding checklist.

Videographer

I’d love a feel-good video and nothing better than hearing my near and dear ones say something nice about me or watching them have a grand time at my wedding. Do you agree?

Music

Pick and choose from a DJ or a band to play at your wedding. You can also have a curated playlist from both before your big day so there are no surprises. I’d love me some classic retro and 90s tunes for sure!

Mehendi artist

Quite the essential on the wedding checklist I must say, make sure to hire one whose work you’ve seen before and comes recommended by friends and family. Personally, I’d like the same design on both hands and I also do prefer more modern mandala style designs.

Hair & makeup artist

Find a hair and makeup artist who is willing to do a trial for you. It is important to see what you will look like on that day. Also, find someone who is going to enhance your appearance and not change it completely. There’s nothing more unsavoury than looking at someone who looks two shades lighter than they actually are.

Bridal trousseau

I feel like knowing all the outfits you’ll need for your functions should count as a trousseau. No one has that kind of closet space that Indian wear essential demands. Just populate with separates and things that you can mix and match with your ethnic clothes. A nice dhoti skirt or a bandhani crop top would be a fabulous addition to your wardrobe.

Bridal accessories

This one’s a biggie, make sure you only purchase your jewellery once you’ve finalised your look. If you’re lucky and have some sentimental pieces from your grandmother you can re-vamp them and add them to the new jewellery that you might make for your big day. Just make sure you go there with a budget in mind and have done enough research about jewellery in general. Ask several questions about care, upkeep, resale value etc.

Wedding lingerie

If you’re investing in everything else then it’s probably a good idea to also invest in good underwear that fits you like a glove and enhances the look and fit of your wedding outfit. That includes Spanx if you feel you need it.

Shoes

I would probably get myself custom Converse white sneakers but I know most brides would like to look tall. And heels do add confidence and form to the female body. But I’d invest in a shorter heel for sure, just so you can dance away without worrying about your feet. Definitely carry an extra pair as a back up in case you rip your heel or strap.

Transportation

I recommend a car, please don’t encourage the use of animals for your weddings, like elephants and horses. They aren’t treated with love and care and it’s really heartbreaking to see. You might as well roll in with swag in a car you’ve been dreaming of buying.

A few tips for brides and grooms to tick off on their wedding checklist before the big day arrives:

Make sure you add take care of self to your wedding checklist:

Hydrate. Be happy. Do positive things. Self-care days—get a hair cut and colour, get a mani-pedi, a massage. Treat damaged hair. Work out and eat right. Basically get a fitness and beauty routine in place.

Remember to pack a lil emergency kit:

This kit needs to contain a tide pen to tackle stains, a mini sewing kit, tampon or sanitary napkin, tissues because you know you’re going to get weepy, wet-wipes, bandaids, bobby pins, double-sided body tape, extra pages for the back of your earrings, safety pins, breath mints, elastic bands, pain killer pills, glue stick or Fevikwik, deodorant and perfume, lint roller for your groom and q-tips.

If you feel like there are more things that should get added to this list then definitely let me know in the comments below.

Be sure to follow @missmalinifashion on Instagram for more updates.