We’ve all been there— a bad first date that makes you want to run to the hills as far away from that person as possible. How annoyed were you, to finally have gotten your dating life off of the back burner only to be disappointed? I believe that first dates either go super well or they end up with either party going home, chugging wine in bed and swearing off dating for a while (guilty!). In hindsight, though, most of the worst dates make for the funniest stories that you can laugh at after a while, amirite?
So, naturally, I wanted to share my woes with women of a similar mindset. Hence, I took to Malini’s Girl Tribe on Facebook and asked the women on there to share their worst first date stories as well. And of course, we had an outpour of responses. Here are 8 of which I found super relatable:
1. A Black Magic Enthusiast
The date got creepy when the topic of ‘life after death’ came up, which is an interesting topic and would have stayed so if he hadn’t gone into Veda Shastra, Kala Jadoo (black magic) and whatnot. It freaked the living daylights out of me when he told me of a ritual he had tried on his boss by placing his boss’ picture under a heavy object to make him submissive. Now I wanted to call for the check and leave but what if he printed out a picture of mine and stood on it, LOL! I friend-zoned him and we got along pretty alright that way.
2. A Little Too Forward For Her
I slapped him for kissing me on the first date, I still remember the look on his face. Then, I pulled his ears and asked him to drop me home. He is now my hubby and I don’t slap him anymore!
3. A Bit Too Respectful
In a bizarre case of a guy being a bit too respectful of my space, my 11th-grade prom date danced so far away from me that at one point another couple started dancing in that yawning abyss between us! (In his defense: I had 5 overprotective elder brothers in the same school). He’s a nice person though, and once we got past his initial extreme shyness, we ended up becoming and staying friends. 15 years later, he’s still so shy, that at his (arranged) wedding, I told the bride she’ll probably have to lift his ghunghat (veil) because he wouldn’t lift hers!
4. A Budding Narcissist If You Ask Me
We went to the movies and the entire time he kept asking if he was looking good. Every twenty minutes he would ask me that. That’s the moment I decided that Batman is better than most of these guys!
5. A Mamma’s Boy
It was my first and last date with this mamma’s boy. I decided which movie I wanted us to watch and he agreed to buy the tickets as the theatre was closeby. When I reached, I noticed he kept talking to his mother over the phone. And when the movie started, I realised he booked tickets for another movie in which Paresh Rawal kept farting all the time. I just left the theatre and went home and never looked back.
6. A Stingy McDonalds‘ Lover
I’m from the U.S. but I went on a date here (in India) with a guy who took me to “MAC D’s”, did not order food, did not pay for mine, did not talk to me because he was on his phone the whole time, wouldn’t make eye contact and the only conversation was me asking him questions.
7. A Bit Too Hasty For One’s Liking
He asked me to marry him on our first date. I (metaphorically) ran far, far, FAR, away!
8. A Stinky Pizza Lover
He took me to Pizza Hut because he liked their pizzas. I am a Dominos person. Still, I went. When we went inside, the air conditioner was not working. I told him we could go elsewhere, but he was so adamant to have pizza at the same place. Lots of mosquitoes and food flies were there as well! It was the most horrible date ever. I never met that guy again.
9. A Freeloading Gym Freak
This was my first date ever. I was only 17 and we decided to meet during my college lunch break at, ironically, McDonald’s. Weirdly enough, this guy didn’t order anything to eat. Obviously, I was hungry so not only did I order myself a good meal but also had to pay for it… He then proceeded to munch shamelessly on my fries. I can never forget when he made a snide remark about my dessert (a hot fudge), “Do you know how many calories there are in this?”. I never met him again.
There you have it. What is the worst date you’ve ever been on? Let me know, I would love to read about it!
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