They say all good things come in small packages. Whoever said that clearly was well-endowed in terms of height. Had they been short, they’d have come up with another saying. It ain’t easy being shortchanged on one’s height (pun intended). Take me, for instance. As I’m writing this blog at my desk, I’m wishing my legs wouldn’t dangle so. Show me a regular-sized chair, and I’ll show you a short person who’s searching for a footstool.
We recently had a conversation on Malini’s Girl Tribe, about things only a short girl would relate to, inspiring me in turn to write this blog. And with immense gratitude to my personal experience, I hereby present to you my observations.
Oh, The Horror!
1. People exclaim ‘Oh, you’re so short!’ when they first meet you. And even on subsequent meetings. Like, thanks bud, I didn’t know that. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.
2. Little kids stand next to you and comment on how they’d soon be as tall as you. Oh, the awkwardness when they shoot up, over one measly summer.
3. Being the smallest, you’re always allotted the middle seat. Which, if you ask me, is still a better option than being asked to sit on someone’s lap in a car brimming with people.
4. Gaining a couple of kilos and having it actually show. Because where else would it go?
5. A night out isn’t complete without wearing heels. (Special mention for tall people who wear flats and then insist on walking everywhere!)
6. Needing to find a tailor to snip your new pair of pants before you can wear them. Finding a pair of pants that fit right deserves a celebration of its own.
7. Ripped denims—such a scam! Finding rips that don’t fall below your knees, deserves another celebration.
8. Try hanging clothes in a regular-sized wardrobe. Or removing them. It’s how I account for my stretching exercises in the morning, true story!
9. Kitchen shelves, supermarket shelves, etc.—ditto!
10. In school, you were asked to come to the front of every queue.
The Struggle Is Real
1. You buy regular-sized shirts and wear them as shirt dresses.
2. Sleeves on tops and blouses are always too long.
3. My favourite—pulling up the seat right to the front while driving with my nose practically touching the wheel. Yes, I know I look funny, thank you very much.
4. You inevitably look younger than you are, which sometimes means people don’t take you seriously enough.
5. You go on a blind date with a guy just to find the tallest guy you’ve ever seen waiting for you.
6. Kissing tall guys ain’t easy either. Hard facts, bruhh!
7. Desks or tables in restaurants are usually too high for you to casually rest your elbows.
8. Your neck aches from looking up at people all the time.
9. Tripping over your maxi dresses time and again!
10. You feel another kind of joy walking next to a shorter person, tee hee.
11. Ever tried walking with a tall person? It’s like slow jogging. And then to hear them complain about how slow you are is what anger management classes are organised for.
The View From Down Here Is Different
1. Finding yourself in an elevator/concert/crowd surrounded by tall people—the perfect recipe for claustrophobia, I tell ya!
2. Commuting in metros or Mumbai locals, and finding your face in the sweaty armpits of other commuters.
3. First swim class and you find yourself drowning in the shallow end of the pool.
4. Your taller friends use you as an armrest.
5. Backpacking? Another trend that ain’t for you as your backpack is as tall as you.
6. My biggest peeve—being asked for my ID at pubs even at the age of 29!!!
7. What’s with mirrors being placed at an impossible height in washrooms? How are you supposed to touch-up your lipstick?
8. Hugging a taller person, and finding your face squished in their chest.
9. You’re constantly subjected to short-people jokes. Get original, y’all!
10. Thinking of creative ways to look taller—top-buns, I’m talking about you!
Wow, seeing it all written down like this, makes me wonder how the short-people species has even survived this long!
What is your biggest pet peeve as a short person in a tall-people world? Please share it in the comments below.
Join Malini’s Girl Tribe on facebook to be part of more such conversations.