Twinkle Khanna looked like a goddess at the Vogue Women of the Year awards held recently. The author and interior designer won the award for the Opinion Maker Of The Year. Isn’t that the best title ever? Anyway, Twinkle, who had written Akshay Kumar‘s acceptance speech at the Vogue Beauty Awards a few months ago, gave an even better one herself at the event.
Here are the 10 funniest lessons she says learnt from the last decade –
1) It’s true that we get more comfortable in our skin as we get older. But that’s because the poor thing is not as tight as it once used to be.
2) We don’t need GST on her sanitary pads, what we need is an alarm instead. Not a vibrating one, as that’ll set us off on a different path all together. But an alarm nonetheless that warns us of imminent overflow and saves us the 100 trips we make to the bathroom just to check. Now that’s a product I would want GST on.
3) Millions of Indian women fast for their husbands’ long lives every Karva Chauth. My dear friend who just won an award is immortalized in his movies, but I don’t think our 3,033 Gods are really listening. Because on the mortality charts there are 147 countries above us, where their men outlive our good old Indian dudes. So, ladies stop because it’s clearly not working.
4) This I had to learn the hard way – It’s difficult to befriend the present if you’re still quarreling with your past.
5) God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers and the Devil could not be everywhere so he created mothers-in-law. Having said that, I feel I’m going to be a terrible one.
6) The only thing free in life is bad advice. Enough said.
7) Botox unfortunately does not make you look younger, it just makes you look like you’re part of a secret alien invasion, desperately trying to fit in with the youth.
8) Our satellite only reached Mars because it was called Mom. I’m certain that if it was called Dad, it would still be circling the Earth, lost, but not willing to ask for directions.
9) The reason I’m standing here: Life is but a beautiful chance in the game of choice.
10) The most important thing I have learned is this – For centuries, women have been looking for a cape and they’ve been handed an apron. It’s only recently that we’ve learned how to swing our aprons around, let it fly on our backs and take to the skies. Awards like theses validate our work and help us soar higher so I’m truly grateful to be going home with this one.
Here’s her speech –
And here’s the one she had written earlier for her husband –
Best!