First dates are exciting for some, annoying for a few, sexy for the lucky ones and downright disgusting for these women. We scoured through Reddit, Quora, my office and my friends to get some interesting first date horror stories, most of them we’re sure can be used as a scene in a rom-com and a few which would make it into episodes of Crime Patrol. Read them and get ready to cringe. Lots.
1) This bad boy who didn’t know what to do when they came for you
After the date, he was driving me home, did a stupid, illegal move, and got pulled over. He decided to run from the police (with me in the car). He tried to pull into a driveway and hide, but they found us. Aaaanyway, the police put us both in handcuffs while they searched the car. They ended up giving me a ride home, and took him to jail. Apparently it was a stolen car. I never saw him again, as he was extradited to another state for outstanding warrants. So that was exciting.
2) This man, whose tastes are very…singular
Long story short he wanted to pay me and photograph me in lingerie from a low angle. He has a fetish for giant as in Titan-like women, he even showed me his collection of photos. He wanted to photoshop us into city like landscapes and make himself look tiny as I stepped on him. It was… quite something alright.
I rejected the offer and he was cool about it, but it was unexpected to say the least!
3) This fun date which was as simple as a walk in the park. Not.
This happened when I was studying abroad. I was walking home one day around 9-10 pm after having dinner/night out with a few classmates. This guy approaches me and starts talking to me, he seemed pretty harmless, and asked me for a date. At that time I was pretty young and into the whole “giving a chance” to anyone who was brave enough to ask. He was unattractive, but I didn’t want my shallowness to stand in the way of going on a potentially nice date.
Anyway, we meet up and go on this date (walk in the park) and he turned out to be a complete psycho. It started off normal with him talking about his travel experiences and such. Eventually we found a patch of grass to sit on and he was basically giving me the “blue steel” look the entire time. I tried to be nice and not laugh, but come on he looked like this when he was going for the kiss!
He asked if he could kiss me but I told him I’m not comfortable, he completely lost it after that! It ended with me trying to get away from him and him following me around, yelling insults at me like how I’m a slut and a bitch, and how I’m disgusting and should fuck off. I think he had some mental issues because he later returned a few times asking for forgiveness and saying that he fucked up and that he loved me/wanted to marry me/wanted to have sex with me. I think I bolted as soon as he proclaimed with such conviction that he “will have sex” with me.
Funny and ridiculous at the time, but horrifying in retrospect. I also walked around for an hour in circles and random routes to make sure he would never know where I live.
4) This date which sounds like an origin story of a serial killer
Was set up on a blind date by a co-worker. Things went reasonably well- okay conversation, he seemed to be genuinely nice. My co-worker and her boyfriend double dated with us for moral support. We went back to the co-worker’s house after dinner to watch a movie together. That’s when things got weird.
The co-worker and her boyfriend left the room to give us some “alone time”. Immediately, my date tried to kiss me. It was one of those approaches with his tongue hanging out so I rejected the kiss, saying it was too soon for that type of affection for me. Instead of letting it go, he shifted his attention to my feet. I was wearing open toed shoes so he grabbed a foot in his hand and asked if he could rub my feet. I declined and he began to beg, telling me that he has a feet fetish and he would love to suck on my toes. I refused again and started to get a bit scared.
He made a last ditch effort by asking if he could just sniff them once. I gathered my things and left ASAP.
He followed me to my car and tried to beg me by talking in A BABY VOICE! He was telling me to come back, me and my “widdle piggies” (toes). I kept expecting a camera crew to pop out from behind a tree proclaiming that I had indeed been “punk’d”. I really tried to be as nice as possible about everything, citing that I just needed some time to get comfortable with someone before becoming affectionate. I pulled out of the driveway in such a hurry that I squealed my tires a bit.
I had no intention of seeing him again since he had violated my personal space so much. I (probably wrongly) passive aggressively ignored his phone calls and myspace messages. He couldn’t take a hint though, and called 20 times in one day. I finally manned up and told him that I wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship. He immediately got nasty, called me a cock tease, and told me never to contact him again. Weirdest date ever.
5) Baller.
Instead of taking me to dinner a guy took me to his parents house so he could do laundry.
6) The boy with the bladder control problem
I reached the restaurant right on time but he was already there, enjoying his beer and a plate of onion rings. I was slightly taken aback to see that he had already ordered his food and drinks. But I didn’t mind. What I did mind was the super boring conversation that followed. I really tried hard to talk, but he wouldn’t let me. Maybe he misinterpreted my expressions and thought I was enjoying the conversation a lot. So he spoke some more… and more… I was ready to leave and then he asked, “So should we book an Uber?” while tapping on his phone. When I quizzed him about the cab’s ETA, he just gave me a blank look. He hadn’t booked any cab. He had just asked me. I was exasperated but I kept my calm.
I decided to ditch a cab and take a rickshaw outside the restaurant instead as I wanted to leave ASAP. On our way back, he mumbled something on the lines of “I drank too much I guess.” I asked him if he was drunk, he shook his head. AND THEN IT HAPPENED – we were stuck in traffic and suddenly, he got off and started peeing across the road. IN FRONT OF MY EYES! Thankfully, we reached his stop soon and that’s when he offered me his hand for a handshake. I refused.
7) The reincarnation of Norman Bates
We knew each other socially since a few months, so when he asked me out for a date, I thought I should give it a try. We went to a nice place and had a fairly good time till he gifted me a scarf. I was pretty touched yet a little creeped out by this gesture and told him that normally people don’t gift each other things on the first date. He revealed that the scarf was not ‘just’ a gift as it belonged to his mother who died a week ago and he wanted to give it to me as I looked like her. He also went on about how much he loved her and how he wants to me fill in the void in his life. I felt bad for him, but this was the first date and I freaked out, so I gently put him down.
The problems began when he started asking our common friends about my whereabouts and started stalking me online. It ended only when a male friend intervened which is quite sad.
8) “Deti hai toh de, warna kat le”
I was out for drinks with this dude I met on Tinder, it was alright at first till he mentioned sex. Now, I might be many things but a prude I’m not, so it really isn’t like I’m not into doing it, but if you’re already discussing sex and making the mistake of assuming that I’m already interested in sleeping with you within half an hour, then that’s a problem. I refused point blank and asked him if he was still interested in chilling. He said ‘of course’ and started talking about other things, but like 15 minutes later, the conversation came back to him wanting to sleep with me by the end of the date. Needless to say, I downed my drink and bounced. I blocked him when I got home to avoid the unnecessary drama.
9) The female Ted Mosby
By the time we got to desserts, I told him I’m in love with him. He hastily threw some money on the table and bolted. I still get so embarrassed whenever my friends tease me about him.
10) This one who doesn’t know the meaning of consent
I had a lot of bad dates. There was one that got too drunk so I had to drive him home, but I didn’t know exactly where he lived (it was like a community of townhomes). As I tried to ask him, he tried forcing himself on me so I physically threw him out of my car in front of the management office and left him there.
11) This dude who really needs to know when to keep his dick in his pants
I was young & dumb. I met a guy online & let him pick me up. When I answered the door, he accused me of lying about my stats because I was taller than him. I’d told him I’m 5’7″, he told me he was 5’9″. I’m really about 5’6.75″ – so who was lying?
For some reason, I didn’t shut the door in his face. We’d decided on dinner & a movie. He drove me to the restaurant. Taco Bell, the drive thru & then he looked at me to pay. I did, as he said he’d pay for the tickets. I would have appreciated a heads up, but whatever. We eat in his car, because that’s super fun, and go see some blah scary movie. No funny business.
After the movie, I’m giving him directions to take me home. He pulls off somewhere & wants to get something started. I have enough time to wiggle out of his grasp before I realize his dick is out. Gross. I make it clear nothing is gonna happen, so he gets out, and jacks off onto (?) The side of the car (his mom’s car, might I add) before taking me home.
And that was my worst date.
12) And finally, this man who wanted to ‘heal the world’ I guess
It was with a guy I worked with. He picked me up from my desk dressed up like Michael Jackson, including tape round his fingers and a surgical mask on his face. He was a plump, 5’6″ white guy with blond hair so somehow even weirder that he was trying to look like Michael Jackson.
Mad eh? Do you have such horrible first date (or any date) story? Feel free to tell us in the comments below.