Ex-Bigg Boss contestant Priya Malik is recapping Bigg Boss season 10 for us. You can read her recaps here. Follow her on Twitter: @PriyaSometimes.
Disclaimer: The views expressed here are solely those of the author.
The day starts with the song Yahaan ke hum sikandar with the housemates dancing and pretending to have some joy in their miserable lives. Swami ji kisses Priyanka‘s cutout poster because that’s all the action he is going to get. We see Navin cooking in the kitchen and when Rohan asks for parathas and ande ki bhurji, he doesn’t fail to tell him that it is not a restaurant. Really? Wasn’t it Taj last week when the food and tea was critiqued and orders were thrown around rudely? Oh, sorry, Taj is a hotel mainly, not a restaurant. Got it (not)!
When Bani requests (by saying please) for a cup of coffee from Nitibha and Akansha, she is told to ask someone else to do it as they’re busy cleaning the garden. Wow. Nitibha later tells her that she has no insaaniyat as they haven’t even had breakfast but are being asked to make coffee. Remember when Princess Priyanka demanded Appy Fizz with tea, and bossed around and cried at being asked to say please while the celebs hadn’t even eaten, and Nitibha tried to comfort Priyanka? Phew. That was a long sentence and I typed it in fury.
Nitibha and the commoners later hatch a plan to add extra clothes to the approved baskets. It is a smart strategy as it should be up to both teams to count not just their approved clothes but also the opponents’. I attribute Kashmiri apples for this sudden increase in her IQ. A new rule is also introduced by which the winning team will simply be the one with the most washed clothes.
Gaurav, Rahul, Manveer and Manoj make a rule to not go beyond the barricade to grab clothes off the carousel. While everyone sticks to it, Monalisa ends up grabbing a piece of clothing, and the commoners go gung ho on the grabbing. The clothing belt arrives and we immediately know that we won’t have to watch Aamir Khan‘s Dangal after having seen this episode.
We later see Manoj referring to Mona as the “Bhojpuri” while saying that she is mad at them. He also makes fun of her anger and says that it’ll take her less than 12 hours to get back to him. What I really like about Manoj is that he truly embraces his assholiness. If assholes were cars, Manoj would be the BMW of it. The boys (Manoj, Manveer and Navin) tell Nitibha to convince Rohan to be lenient on the quality checks while calling Rohan names at the same time. Even though Navin is PMSing, his testosterone clearly rises up when he sees Manoj and Manveer being assholes in his vicinity. He is like that misfit who loves hanging out with the cool kids (the bullies) just so they don’t bully him instead.
Later, the cool kids make fun of Swami ji and truly validate their existence. You will always find people who like making fun of other people to truly justify their existence. Manoj, Manveer and Naveen are those kind of people.
The next lot of clothes arrive on the carousel and it is Dangal all over again. Monalisa is nowhere to be seen and Akansha hides somewhere in the background because she has already resigned to her fate of being evicted this week. Manoj and Rohan get into a huge screaming competition and Rohan air guitars yet again (Yass). Manoj almost marches forward to hit Rohan and you understand that their definition of masculinity is to be able to punch someone in their faces.
Manveer’s beard is so nice that I almost hate myself for not liking what is attached to that beard, i.e. Manveer himself. He spills out a flurry of cuss words and also flings forward to attack Rohan. I love that Rohan is able to bring out this fury just by being his sassy air guitaring self.
Remember Navin? The misfit who desperately wants to become a bully? He then unleashes himself on Rohan because why should he be left behind? Manoj, Manveer and Navin share the same DNA (Developed Nasty Assholes). Gaurav and Bani do not fail to protect their cool quotient at this time by trying to not get involved in the fight. What if people really get to know them? Haww.
Rohan’s air guitaring irritates them so much that Navin crazily imitates him. The best part is that he also sings Oh oh jaane jaana and doesn’t lose the opportunity to brand Salman Khan in the midst of all this. We cut to seeing Swami ji seated on a bench and watching this drama unfold, deeply meditating to prevent this global conflict. I miss seeing his tharki self. Tsk tsk.
The celebrities (Bani, Gaurav, Lopa and Monalisa) later advise Rohan to not instigate the other group. If air guitaring is instigation then America would be invaded by Iraq rather than vice versa. The other celebs really want Rohan to be as dead as they are. It must be tough for Rohan to be a human amongst a bunch of zombie celebrities.
We’re also shown Manveer and Manoj making fun of Navin because they think his anger is not justified because he is not tall and masculine enough to be like them. Yay. Bullies, ahoy. In order to resolve the conflict, Rohan and Manoj discuss the idea of not fighting with each other again. Asshole Manoj also claims that Rohan will never be able to earn as much money in his entire lifetime as Manoj already has. But do you know what Rohan already earns more than Manoj? Respect.
While the commoners are busy fighting with Rohan for having a little bit of personality, Navin goes and pours water on the celebrities’ approved clothes. Bani, in retaliation attempts to do the same to the commoners’ clothing. Both teams decide to discontinue the task and eventually send off some clothes, when the end buzzer rings. While the commoners discuss that Rohan is harming his career by being himself, I imagine a long queue lining up outside Navin’s coaching classes because who doesn’t like to be yelled at? Fifty Shades of Yelling.
Due to the celebrities’ approved lot being wet, the commoners win the task and become masters again. They eventually realise that this is the Bigg Boss House and that zombie mode won’t really work for it. We see Lokesh missing home and Manoj comforting her by telling her that she should be proud of her achievements just the same way he is proud of his BMW4.
PS: Nitibha, are Kashmiri apples really very tasty?
PPS: But, can they beat the goodness of Rohan’s air guitaring?
Yours bitchfully,
Bitch Boss