So you meet someone, find them interesting and before you know it, you are hooked to your phone like a child to his lollipop. The interesting texts where you try to get to know them, the anticipation of the first phone conversation, the butterflies you feel in your stomach hoping they will text and say something sweet, all sounds really exciting right? Wait for it. Here’s the next phase.
Then you start wondering why they’re not asking more questions and why they haven’t called you back? The butterflies to when they will text next, quickly turns into anxiety as to why they are taking so long to reply.
Our digital world that has now become our ‘lifeline’, is also pure torture as it influences our dating life to the very core. Here is why you need to get out of that world and start living in the real one!
People are different on digital media: Listen, I can make you believe I am the princess of Indonesia, if I really wanted to. People can be whoever they want to be behind a screen (enter Catfish). People tell me all the time that they are sure they have a connection with someone based on text conversations. I don’t care if you are texting day in and day out, but how can you compare a real connection to typed out messages? When you text someone you can show them any side of you that you wish to. If you really want to get to know someone, MEET HIM OR HER! Go for coffee, grab a drink, but please, spend time with them.
Misguided Anxiety: Some people are terrible at texting. They have no personality. However, if you meet them in person, they might be super charismatic. Not everyone uses the digital world like we used to use MSN, ‘back in the day’. However, men and women will both sit and analyze why the other sex hasn’t written them back. What might they be doing? How many messages should I send or not send? Just be yourself! I am definitely not telling you to bombard their phone with texts. Mystery is always important, but get a grip and let it flow naturally. If it doesn’t, there are plenty fish in the sea that can offer you at least one worthwhile conversation, if that is what you crave. This is as good as talking to a stranger online, so if it doesn’t move forward, how can you be upset about someone you barely know?
Absence makes the heart grow fonder: Have you ever stopped to think, that if we were less connected all the time we would actually miss each other more? That, connections grow when you miss someone, and less when you are constantly in touch? Speaking once in a while is okay. It doesn’t reflect on where you stand in your relationship. Here’s a thought, if you want to know where you stand with someone, JUST ASK!
Fake attraction: He looks like Brad Pitt in his pictures right? Then you meet him and are confused that you are now staring at Danny DeVito. And women, this applies to you to. All the applications that make us look whitened, brightened and fabulous, can truly confuse someone when they finally meet you. As the saying goes, ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’. Because, in our generation, the cover, can be questionable!
With all the amazing applications we have out there we can truly redefine the way we look. However, once again, you need to meet someone before you can decide if you are attracted to them or not. A person may not seem that attractive over social media but might be extremely attractive in person. Plus, attraction also has a lot to do with the way someone carries themselves and their personality.
Typing ‘sweet nothings’: Why do we base our level of interest in someone based on the ‘sweet nothings’ they type? Flirting used to be a concept where things like the following would happen. You are on a date, you share something personal and they touch your hand and you immediately begin to blush slightly, because in that moment, you know they like you. Or, when you feel cold and he instantly gives you his jacket. Or, my favorite one; the look you give each other right before that first kiss. However, now reading, ‘what’s up, when are we meeting again (emoji emoji emoji)’, gives us so much excitement that it is truly pathetic. If whispering ‘sweet nothings’ has now become typing them, where is the place for any real romance?
I am not saying you can’t meet someone online and fall in love. I am not saying that your connection absolutely cannot grow in the digital world. All I am saying is, don’t make it your reality. Don’t let it influence how you perceive someone or raise your expectations when partaking in this phenomena.
When its come to our generation, we have created a world where dating is a place we can now get to know someone at a safe distance. Yet, we want true intimacy by expecting them to have an avatar in this space.
I guess the truth is, you get to decide.Through all the analyzing and scrutinizing that goes into this sphere, do you wish to be part of this virtual reality?
Because if you asked me, I just want to be part of something… real.
Psst! Did you catch MissMalini‘s video with Akshay Kumar about dating now v/s then? Haha check it out! Special appearance by Nowshad and everything!
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Everyone says that the concept of love has changed over time – and Akshay Kumar agrees! Watch as the Rustom actor explains the difference between love then and now. But which one is better? #RustomWalaPyaar
由 MissMalini 发布于 2016年8月9日
You can read more of my articles on my personal relationship centred blog, Avec Shaz. Do not forget to subscribe to the blog and follow me on Instagram and Facebook as well!