Vikram Bhatt‘s Love Games caught my interest since the time its trailer came out. Patralekha shrieking about loving to fuck, snorting cocaine and playing love games, was enough to convince me that this film is going to be gold. That’s why the moment we got the opportunity to watch the movie, our excitement couldn’t be contained (I washed my hair and all that). So Priyam and I decided to jot down our thoughts while watching this movie, just like we did with Hate Story 3.
Here’s what went through our heads during Love Games. Spoiler Alert *obviously*
1) Roses are red violets are blue. Sex can be messy. But love can be too – poetic genius.
2) Why does she have a tear in one eye?
Because that’s how rich people cry.
3) I know I’m going to love this movie, just know it.
4) He’s got too much lip for such a tight close-up right?
5) Ah, there’s the cocaine we were talking about.
6) There’s a middle finger close up. Game over.
7) He seems stable enough post cocaine though
8) He freed a butterfly after snorting some coke, must be some good quality stuff.
9) Patraleka (Ramona) loves his lips too, Priyam
10) “Just because I don’t believe in love and love sex makes me a murderer?” It kinda does according to Bollywood.
11) I’m really digging the background score
12) The hero’s home looks like Shahid Kapoor’s house
13) For rich people, this is a very tacky party setup.
14) Is SH really an abbreviation for self harm?
15) The psychiatrist looks more like a zombie than the guy who claims to be one
16) DRUG GAMES
17) “Love woh bahana hai jo log roz apne faeda ke liye use karte hai” – I’m getting this tattooed
18) I’ll get it tattooed too, but in Chinese, more edgy.
19) Why does Patralekha talk without blinking?
20) He doesn’t know what to do in a threesome! Hahahah!
21) “Have you read the book Love Games?” WHAT?
22) This movie is based on a book. A book that doesn’t exist.
23) SHE REALLY DOESN’T BLINK!
24) She doesn’t blink but she does wink! No one blinks in this movie.
25) “Aankhein band karta hoo toh I dream of you” Band to kar apni aakhein!
26) Is that blood or grease?
27) So when someone tries to kill you, you fuck them? Obvio.
28) MIND GAMES
29) Also this is like a trashier version of a Jackie Collins novel and her novels are REALLY trashy.
30) Itne bade flats Bombay mein ho hi nahi sakte!
31) Hi Hiten Tejwani! *Sings ‘Hey Hey Hey Hey’ excitedly* (Kutumb’s theme song)
32) He’s being like Pratham from Kutumb but on drugs
33) Like the entire movie
34) So everyone has a mental disorder in the film? That’s weirdly convenient.
35) The third girl is laughing like I do when I’m asked to interact with people
36) Ohhhh. Fucked couple no. 1 is gonna try and seduce fucked up couple no. 2 because both couples don’t know the other one is fucked up. Can’t wait!
37) She talks like the people who comment on YouTube.
38) When your name is Sameer Saxena, you have to be slightly shady. No?
39) Third girl is abla in the sheets, sassy on the streets. Pathetic combination
40) Acha Hiten is looking at her and probably going “someone gonna get a hurt realllyyy bad tonight…
And that someone ain’t me, bitch!”
41) How is Gauri Pradhan okay with this? #HitenGauriForever
42) Erm. When you get an SMS from your husband and you’re standing with a stranger – you read it out loud.
43) Over-familiarity starts with such movies only.
44) Party dress with lab coat – gotta wear that to work!
45) This other girl doesn’t blink either man.
46) Wait… to get someone to stop cutting themselves, you show them a really gruesome surgery?
47) Grey’s Anatomy but with bad looking people
48) When children don’t listen, parents should take them for surgery.
49) You do ‘SH’? I’ll show you ‘H’, what Alisha is probably thinking.
50) Sex tape mein jeeb kaun chidhata hai?
51) I could have gone my whole life without Hiten’s sex face
52) “Chain se jeene nahi doonga sataonga” (Still talking about Kutumb)
53) This is like that Shama Sinkander’s Sexaholic movie. Girl is doing everything, the hero is just lying there
54) #TeamNoBonerOnlyCuddles
55) Shreemi, you’ve been dating for too long you don’t know dating entails stalking too these days.
56) Now that they’re in Goa, you think they’ll they go to Thalasa like everyone else?
57) “You’re right. I’ve been following you”. At least he’s honest
58) She’s showing this stalker her bruises? Shirtless? Kya hai yeh games?
59) FUCKED UP GAMES!
60) He has wayyyyyy too many scenes where he’s just sitting on his ass looking into thin air. And not just when he’s high.
61) Is he turned on? Is he sad? Can’t tell anymore.
62) Roaming around singing into a recorder. All in a days work.
63) Fun fact: number of times they’ve met before this – one.
64) No one really likes to blink in this movie.
65) She cant wear a shirt without it hurting her bruises. Sex, however…
66) Aaj kal tum fireman jaise ho only emergences mein aate ho. *Entire theater laughs*
67) Team Ramona
68) She was good in Citylights, what happened to her?
69) It’s the high heels, it’s sucking the acting out of her.
70) Why is Hiten doing this? He already has a Bollywood career, he did Krishna Cottage for fucks sake!
71) The interval got over too soon, I haven’t collected my thoughts yet.
72) “He won’t do anything that he hasn’t done before”, well apart from killing you
73) “I’m scared of Gaurav, Sameer”. Well, clearly not enough, Alisha.
74) Where is Ramona? I miss her shrill voice.
75) Sameer didn’t even help Alisha when her husband (Hiten) poured whiskey on her. What a lover. NOT!
76) What a waste of whiskey though!
77) DRUNK GAMES
78) I can’t anymore, I wanna watch Hate Story 3 instead.
79) Same, this is so tiresome.
80) The song name is Nirvana and the singer is trying to imitate Bob Marley.
81) This is going to be your favourite song soon Priyam.
82) There he is, staring again.
83) How does he get a boner if he’s so over it?
84) “Oh no, she doesn’t wanna see my face”. His penis though…
85) CONFRONTATION SCENE
86) DEATH GAMES
87) Ramona killed her husband, to fuck around with others, what a shocker. She does have cute teddy bear trinkets though, so maybe she’s not all that bad.
88) Bro, yeh to Hitchcock-ian twist hai!
89) Shakespeare has been quoted. I’m not worthy of this cinematic genius.
90) WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT KISS???
91) Hiten Tejwani kissing is the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I want to cry.
92) THIS IS PROBABLY ALSO HIS ORGASM FACE. I’m gonna go back and YouTube Kutumbh’s title track. For soul repair. *sadly sings hey hey hey hey*
93) Plot twist ki maa ki ankh!
94) Just relax you jittery pants.
“Jittery pants”
Gonna call you that from today.
I need a drink.
There’s a bar nearby, FYI.
95) “Sam you’re like so dead, like D-E-D, dead”. This is what happens when you don’t go to school, Ramona.
96) Haha moving around with a dead body, this is Vikram Bhatt’s personal homage to Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron!
97) Tara Alisha Berry (whose character name is also Alisha) is Satish Shah.
98) Have you ever done coke next to a dead body? No? Watch me!
99) So much use of technology for communication, recorder, video.. The works!
100) The background score went like “he’s lying, he’s flying”. Drugs, FTW.
101) Patralekha (as Ramona) – “What the hell?” Us – “Same”.
102) This Nirvana song is growing on me. So much twist pe twist. Abbas-Mustan kar lete direct.
103) I’m loving the end.
What if this isn’t the end?
But only the beginning?
For Love Games 2!
104) This is basically a movie meant for Bipasha Basu and Emraan Hashmi, but they didn’t have enough budget.
105) Also, Love Games is basically a 2 and a half hour long staring match.