The thing is that I know lots of men and women who’re really cool people, but somehow are afraid to date because of their body image issues. I’m sorry to be the one to break this to you, but the reason you’re single is not because of how you look or how much you weigh. It’s about how you feel and how that sentiment pours into your relationships. So if you’re letting your weight dictate how you feel about relationships, here are 5 things to keep in mind:
1. It’s all relative
Yes, we know what films and magazine covers and Photoshop tell us – but honestly, in the real world, there is no one key to attraction. Different people are attracted to different things, quirks and qualities. We don’t even mean this in a cheesy “you’re beautiful just the way you are” sort of way, we’re honestly saying it: everyone is attracted to different things. You could be completely fit, but your hair colour could be something the other person doesn’t like. It comes down to a lot more than just weight issues.
2. Attraction is a lot more than ‘looks’
Having said that, even if you’re not someone’s type on paper, they can still be attracted to you. It’s easy to confuse ‘attraction’ with ‘thinking someone looks good’, but real attraction goes a lot deeper than that: it encompasses looks, wit, humour, intelligence, confidence, and several other tiny little things you probably don’t even realise. And the greatest part is, when you’re really attracted to someone, you begin to think they’re good looking!
3. It’s temporary
Even if we were to assume for one second that looking a certain way is better than the other, we can’t forget the fact that looks are but temporary – you can look completely different in a few years or even months. People lose weight, people gain weight, people change their hair colour, people get tattoos.
4. It’s all about love
Seriously, once the connection between two people is lasting, there are a lot of other things that won’t hold much importance. And also, you have to love yourself before you allow anyone else to love you!
5. Your state of mind is more important
People pick up on the energies you give out, so if you’ve internalised your weight issues and are acting insecure, that’s likely to be a bigger barrier in your relationship/dating life than your actual weight. So go out there, strut your stuff, make eye contact, approach people, live out your fantasy. The only thing standing between you and that crush of yours is your mental stigma. Skinny is skinny, fat is fat – and beautiful is whatever the f*ck you want it to be. Get over it and the world is your oyster.
Like, in episode 3 of Big F…
Thoughts?
This post is in partnership with our friends at MTV India.