You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘This is impossible – oh, this is impossible.’ And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.
– Tina Fey
A Trip Down Guilt Lane.
What’s the one thing all moms have in common, irrespective of whether they are working full-time, part-time or as a stay-at-home mom? Are you ready to hear this? It’s GUILT! Didn’t pack their favourite lunch, didn’t submit an assignment on time, sent them to school in dirty shoes, couldn’t make it for one PTA, missed a football match, had to work on the weekend… the list is endless! And so is the trip down Guilt Lane. Jeez ladies, how hard are we on ourselves?
As mothers today, we are definitely juggling several balls in the air. Most of us need a separate calendar just to manage the kids’ routine of school, homework, extra classes and birthday parties. Add to this the house, husband and a career, and we’re not just jugglers anymore but bloody magicians!
Now where things get interesting, and also a bit tricky, is that amidst all of this, you’re also trying to factor in some “Me” time for the sake of your sanity. As women (and not just mothers) today, we are a lot more empowered and aware of our choices. I have no qualms in admitting that I want more than just a home and hearth in my life. But it almost always leads me to that nagging question: by wanting more for myself, am I doing less for my kids?
Delegation Doesn’t Need To End At The Office.
The good news is, the ‘more’ for ourselves without the ‘less’ for our kids is definitely attainable. Most of us already have a great support system in place – we just need to use it better. Delegation is not just a mantra for the corporate world! If you’ve got parents or in-laws staying nearby, drop off the kids with them once in a while. I have yet to see a set of grandparents who are reluctant baby sitters 🙂 It’s a win-win situation so no guilt there! I also rely a lot on my friends, and return the favour when they need me. We take turns ferrying kids to and fro, or having them over for playdates when one of us needs a respite. And as they are mums themselves, I TRUST them to handle whatever situation may arise while my kids are in their care. It may all seem a bit chaotic in the beginning, but I promise you eventually all the cogs fit and it runs like a well oiled machine!
Balance, Not Perfection.
What I have come to realise over the years is that as a mom what we need to strive for is not perfection, but balance. And it’s perfectly ok for that balance to tilt once in a while in your favour. Unless you are Cinderella’s stepmother, just give yourself a break! Your kids are not going to remember the occasional slip up. But what they will remember is always having a happy mom around them 🙂 Just take out time for yourself to do something that brings a smile to your face. Go for a pedicure, do that short course in photography, have a girls night out… better still go backpacking with your gal pals! No one is judging you for switching off your mommy mode for a bit!
So moms, forget about your gluten-free and carb-free diet… go on a Guilt-free diet! Activate your support team, balance your priorities, and love yourself like you love your kids. That’ll really make you feel lighter!
Aditi Kalra is a part-time writer, reiki healer, and a full-time mom. She’s lived across three continents, raising two high-on-sugar kids and managing one low-on-patience husband!