Every once in a while, there’s a film that comes along and just steals your heart. Dum Laga Ke Haisha did that for me, and judging by reports, it did the same for a lot of people. It’s the kind of movie you find bits and pieces of your own self in: whether in the characters or their relationships or their trials and tribulations. And it’s also the kind of movie where you walk away from the theatre having felt something and, more importantly, learned something. Here are 5 lessons on love from Dum Laga Ke Haisha that we should all be following:
1. There are a lot of things more important than the way a person looks
This is the most obvious one, but it deserves to be said again and again: there is so much more at play when it comes to relationships than the way a person looks. Don’t put looks on your priority list – put attraction. And while it’s easy to confuse ‘attraction’ with ‘thinking someone looks good’, real attraction goes a lot deeper than that: it encompasses looks (yes), wit, humour, intelligence, confidence, and a whole host of other small things you may not be able to put your finger on. The best part is, when you’re really attracted to someone, you honestly begin to think they’re good looking.
2. Love yourself first
Sandhya puts herself first always, is unapologetic about the way she looks, and can dish out a snarky comment if she feels she’s been slighted. It’s her confidence and her self-assuredness that stop her from turning into a wallowing mess when she finds out what Prem actually thinks of her. It’s her ability to put herself out there that made her admit to him, in the end, that she doesn’t want to leave him. Basically, the whole thing would have turned out very differently if Sandhya didn’t love herself first – before she tried to love someone else.
3. Don’t pay too much attention to what others think
You’re important. Your relationship is important. What other people think? Not so much. Dum Laga Ke Haisha is set in a small town in the ’90s, where everyone knows everyone’s business, and it tells us one thing: people are always going to have something to say, but at the end of the day, it comes down to what you, as a person – and you, as a couple – want.
4. Sometimes you have to make the move yourself
It may be easier to wait around for the other person to make a move, whether it comes to sex or admitting feelings. But sometimes, you have to put yourself out there first for things to actually happen. It’s okay to be the vulnerable one at times, even if it’s scary as hell.
5. The small things are important
Grand gestures are fun and romantic, but love is in the small details: like when Prem makes Sandhya the mix tape she asked for. Or when Sandhya guides Prem on how to go through the obstacle race. Or when Prem checks with Sandhya whether she’s doing fine during the race, instead of hurrying to win it. The small things always count the most.
What did you think of Dum Laga Ke Haisha?