The World Cup season is upon us and I am kind of looking forward to it. Now don’t get me wrong! The only thing I know about cricket is that we won the World Cup four years ago and I was chugging beers with some friends at a sports bar while watching it with a bunch of mad cricket fans. But let’s not fool ourselves into believing that each person present at a World Cup viewing party knows the first thing about the sport.
So if you watch matches only because of jugs of beer and pressures from your peer, you’ve come to the right place. Here are things you can say while watching the cricket match this Sunday if you are as clueless as I am.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank my better half from TeamMissMalini, Shreemi Verma for helping me curate this list to fake cricket knowledge. Read on…
1. Dhoni’s Helicopter Shot
Apparently ‘Dhoni’s Helicopter Shot’ is a real thing that M.S Dhoni does and only he can do. So Dhoni flings his bat as if it’s a helicopter and the ball, in turn, goes as high as a helicopter. Um. So if Dhoni scores a six, quickly say “Dhoni ka helicopter shot best hai yaar!”
2. “… So close!”
Keep saying “So close!” periodically. It’s creates a nice effect. Life is a series of almosts, after all!
3. Run Forrest Run
I’m told when in doubt, crib about the cricketers’ run-taking skills. Scream at the screen abusing and telling the players that they are running way too slow between the wickets.
4. “Beautiful shot!”
Don’t tell me you’ve not grown up hearing your dad say “beautiful shot” each time someone scored some runs. Just follow suit.
5. #SachinForever
You do know who Sachin Tendulkar is, right? If you’re either stupid or Maria Sharapova, then I’m sorry, this is just not for you. If you aren’t any of the above, then keep saying how the World Cup just isn’t the same without Sachin.
6. “Umpire is fraud!”
We as Indians take offense most naturally. As soon as things stop working out for us, we know it’s not our fault. It’s never our fault. So when our team isn’t doing well, the umpire is obviously biased to the other team. That’s the only explanation.
7. Test > World Cup
You’re not a true cricket fan if you don’t constantly say “Test cricket is real cricket!” Yup, apparently, the World Cup is not even real. #MindBlown
8. Ravi Shastri FTW
No matter what the result of the match is, make sure you say “In the end, cricket is the winner!” Turns out Ravi Shastri has said this line so many times that it’s now often used as a joke. Man, this cricket world is confusing.
There you have it… your cheat sheet to this World Cup. Make sure you share it with fellow clueless watchers and have a kickass time at the games! You’re welcome 🙂