The holidays are over and hopefully, so is the hangover. The new year’s eve was upon us and I’m assuming most of us entered 2015 with a song in our hearts and a drink in our hands. Blame it on a variety of great choices all my life, I happen to know a thing or two about parties. You’d think it may be because I plan my year around two main occasions – my birthday and new year’s eve – but it’s actually because people at parties are truly repetitive. Like a very profound roommate of mine had once told me:
It’s like we’re having the exact same party with the exact same people for years. Except, we’re having it in instalments and the exact same people have different faces from time to time.
When you figure the above quote out, read on for a quick recap of your new year’s eve party. Trust me, you’ll have a name for each category from your party because you’d meet these 10 people, no matter what new year’s party you’re at.
1. The One Who’s Seen Way Too Many Movies To Know Better
That’s what you’re supposed to do, right? That’s how Harry really met Sally, you know? Well, in my defense, a kiss was procured! *looks away*
2. The Unsocial Network
The one who’s standing in the corner and is on his/her phone and smiles occasionally.
I’m sorry, are we not at a party? Ohhh… President Obama might call any minute? No? Then you expect everyone else to come and try to speak to you? Who are you? The Great Gatsby?
3. The Girl Who Got It Goin’ On
You know one when you see one. She walks in impeccably dressed, she lights her cigarette while someone pours her a drink. She then speaks a little to the host and then proceeds to dance super seductively by herself while the men get busy picking their jaws up from the floor. A friend of mine used to call these girls ‘the girl in the hot girl bubble’ – a bubble very few daring souls attempt to break.
4. The Man Candy
You can call him the male counterpart of the previous category but that may not do full justice to The Man Candy. The girls are swooning over him through the night and the boys are wondering why. He’s charming and funny and dances well too! He may or may not go home with someone that night but either way, he never kisses and tells.
5. The Weirdo Who Thinks He’s The Man Candy
You know exactly who I’m taking about.
6. The STD
The guy you’ve met at parties through the year because the good fortune of having many common friends with him is yours. He’s the douche who divides his entire night hitting on all women present – single, dating, lesbian, what have you. He doesn’t give up for even a second and that’s not even the worst part, because right after he’s left you wondering which sad woman would ever go to bed with him, you see him making his way to the bedroom with a sad woman who has agreed to go to bed with him.
Side Note: There’s the STD Female too. Mostly the aforementioned “sad woman”. #Obviously
7. The Couples
For once, I’d love to go to a party where there’s no relationship drama a couple randomly spills on everyone present. You had a fight? You have a couple decision to make? DO IT AT YOUR OWN PARTY!
8. The Couple That Needs To Get A Room
Then there are the other couples. The couple that’s a little too much in love. They don’t think they’re at a party. They don’t even think they’re in a room with people present. They continue their tounging and grabbing and they lose their eyesight in the process – the only explanation for why they can’t see 50 people around them!
9. The Hot Mess
… except, they’re not hot at all. They’ve either started partying way early than the actual party time or they have overestimated their capacity for alcohol. Either way, they’re leaning on walls and people and throwing up everywhere (If you’re lucky, then everywhere in the bathroom only!) and the only way they’re going to hit midnight is if you call the pot in your bathroom that.
10. The Coolest People You’d EVER Meet
You and your friends!
The people who made the year worthwhile and will continue doing so for all the years to come. The ones who know how to have a good time and no matter how weird everyone else behaves, you’re glad you got to bring in the new year with them.