My friend Trishna Mathews is possibly one of the cleverest and most out spoken people I know. So imagine my delight when she offered to write me a blog post on the 5 things women are doing wrong while looking for Mr. Right – an open letter of sorts – by a woman.
This occurred to her because there’s this open letter to the girl that let the nice guy go that’s been trending like crazy with over 800 comments. So after you read our tongue-in-cheek (but only half joking) survey #RealTalk: 38 Reasons You’re Not Getting The Guy (According to Him!) It’s time to listen to one of our own kind! Love, MM xoxo
There have been lots of articles trending recently about what men think we ladies do wrong while searching for ‘the one’, or ‘Mr. Right’ Or ‘your lobster’ – (Alia Bhatt regrammed Sonam Kapoor on the lobster thing remember?). Whatever you may want to call it, being an educated 27 year old working woman, unmarried but in a relationship, I hate to admit it but there is some truth to what’s being said. I’m no expert, but a few bad relationships have taught me a lesson or two on what
not
to do. Here are my top 5 what not to do’s.
1. Looking for Mr. Right.
There is no such thing! We ourselves are so imperfect it’s criminal to look for perfection in others and let go of the good guys because of some flaws! Figuring out the top 3 things that are your personal must have’s for a relationships are helps. No man can be smart, funny, good looking, rich, caring, kind, a family man etc all at once! So why impose that kind of pressure on yourself and the men?
2. Making the Money important.
Let’s not kid ourselves, money and materialistic things are good, very good and we all enjoy it. But it works far better if we let the responsibility of making sure we enjoy the finer things in life rest with ourselves and not make it someone else’s responsibility. We women are simply incredible and possess true grit one that a man could only hope to have and today’s women, like most of you reading this blog are smart, independent and self sufficient! So why do we still subscribe to the age old thinking of ‘he must take care of me’? Let’s change that to ‘we must take care of each other’.
3. Having a List.
For years now movies and magazines have propagated the idea of ‘The List’. The never ending checklist of qualities our Mr. Right must possess. While these make for great reading, finding a life partner cannot be dwindled down to a list. These lists mostly end up consisting of the same run of the mill verbs and adjectives that are easy to explain but may not be what you really need, so let’s do away with the laundry list! Let’s focus on real life and what you really need at that point in your life.
4. Taking too many people’s opinion about the guy.
Validation is great, but the only validation you really need is your own, friends are great and will always tell you what they feel because they love you, but too often we listen to too much advice and too many opinions and forget to take into consideration our own! In the end YOU are the one who will be in that relationship, so why not just trust your own instinct? Even if you’re wrong, so what, it was your lesson to learn.
5. Making your whole world revolve around him and expecting the same in return.
This one only applies when you’re IN a relationship, but this is a guaranteed way to destroy a perfectly good one. Space is good, no human can be defined by just that one relationship. We have so many more that need care and time and must be made a priority as well. Too often we make the rookie mistake of self inflicting this pressure on ourselves and on men. Let’s not stop growing, knowing and living just because we are in a relationship
There you have it, now good luck and don’t forget to leave your comments below!