When we think of romantic Bollywood movies, we tend to think of grand gestures, everlasting love, and expression of feelings through songs. For the most part, our stories – especially love stories – have been of the over-the-top variety, depicting a kind of romance that we find hard to get in real life. However, believe it or not, there’s quite a bit of practical love advice that’s hidden amongst all the extravagance and escapism – stuff that you can be applying in your relationship right now. We collated some of our favourite Bollywood dialogues full of real, sensible, useful love advice:
1. Koi pyaar kare to tumse kare, tum jaise ho waise kare. Tumhe badal kar jo pyar kare, woh pyaar nahin, woh sauda kare.
Translation: If someone loves you, they should love you the way you are. If they’re changing you and loving you, that’s not love – it’s a trade-off. Film: Mohabbatein There’s a lot to be said for adjusting, but the fact remains that you’ve been yourself all your life and are pretty set in your ways already. The point is finding someone whose hang-ups and quirks you can live with, and vice versa. Small changes are inevitable and necessary along the way, but try to change anything major and you’ll probably just end up resenting each other.
2. Tum galat nahin ho, bas mujhse bahut alag ho.
Translation: You’re not wrong, just very different from me. Film: Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani On that same note, just because someone is doing something differently doesn’t mean that they’re wrong. It may be irritating to you, but everyone wants different things, everyone has different ways of dealing with things, and everyone prioritises different things. Life is a lot easier when you realise that not everything comes from a place of malice – sometimes it’s simply that the person is different than you are! (And you have to decide whether these are things you can live with; see point #1.)
3. Kabhi toh pehli mulaqat hi kaafi hoti hai … aur kabhi bahut si mulaqatein lag jaati hai.
Translation: Sometimes, the first meeting is enough… and sometimes, it takes lots of meetings. Film: Hum Tum Just because you don’t hit it off the first time doesn’t mean you never will. Obviously, don’t ignore any major red flags… but it’s not necessary to write someone off just because the first meeting or first date wasn’t what you hoped it would be.
4. Doosra mauka humein upar waala nahi deta hai… humein khud lena hota hai
Translation: God doesn’t give us the second opportunity… we have to take it ourselves. Film: Hum Tum If things have gone a little sour and you want to fix it, you have to get in there and do the dirty work yourself. Stop waiting for things to magically fix themselves or for that ‘opportunity’ to present itself to make things better. It might blow up in your face, it might not – but the point is you won’t have to live with the regret of not trying when you could have.
5. Jeevan ke kis modh pe, kab koi mil jaaye… kaun keh sakta hai?
Translation: Who knows when someone will walk into our lives? Film: Chandni Most of us have had our moments of feeling #ForeverAlone, but you just never know when you end up meeting someone. Maybe it’s someone you always knew but never thought you could see in that light (see point #3). Maybe it’s someone you meet at a place you normally never visit. The point is, keep an open mind and try not to wallow in your brain’s “I’m gonna die alone” chants. Oh, and probably start stepping out of your comfort zone more – do things you never did, meet people you never have!
6. Main apni favourite hoon
Translation: I am my favourite. Film: Jab We Met You have to learn to love yourself (because you are awesomesauce) before you can love anyone else. If you love yourself, you’ll know what you deserve and won’t settle for anything less than it. You’ll also be less likely to be emotionally dependent on one person for all your happiness, which helps take a lot of pressure off any relationship.
7. Jab koi pyar mein hota hai… toh koi sahi galat nahin hota.
Translation: When someone is in love, there’s no right or wrong. Film: Jab We Met Take this with a pinch of salt, obviously, but the point is that love and relationships lie in murky territory. Not everything is clear-cut and not everything is simply a black-or-white situation, so you should stop seeing it as such. Things can get messy and chances are you’re doing something certain people disapprove of – wanting to marry outside of your community, dating someone of the same sex, falling in love with a person outside of your social “class” – but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s wrong.
8. Mohabbat bhi zindagi ki tarah hoti hai. Har modh aasaan nahi hota, har modh par khushi nahi hoti. Par jab hum zindagi ka saath nahi chhodte… phir mohabbat ka saath kyun chhodein?
Translation: Love is like life. Every turn is not easy, you don’t find happiness at every turn. But when we don’t give up on life, why should we give up on love? Film: Mohabbatein Love and relationships are hard freaking work. That doesn’t mean it’s not worth it, though.
9. Jab hum aapse kuch poochna chahe toh aap hum mein rokti hai… aur jab chup ho jaye toh tokti hai
Translation: When I ask you something, you stop me… and when I’m quiet, you taunt me. Film: Hum Aapke Hain Kaun Listen, listen, listen – don’t try to shut the other person up when they’re speaking or asking about something that matters to them (regardless of whether you agree or think it’s important). Especially when you claim not to like their silence!
10. Kuch rishton ki taqdeer sirf dosti tak hi likhi hoti hai
Translation: Some relations are destined to be only friendships. Film: Mohabbatein The friendzone is real. Many of us have ended up liking people who have only platonic feelings for us. It sucks, but it is what it is. Understand that concepts like “ek ladka aur ek ladki kabhi dost nahin ho sakte” exist only in movies and Taylor Swift songs, so you’re probably wasting your time if you’re waiting around for the person you like to magically fall in love with you. Hey, it may happen – but there’s no guarantee it will. Give yourself time to get over it, but don’t keep deluding yourself. Oh, and there’s nothing to be gained from blaming the other person – no one can be forced into liking another person – and definitely nothing to be gained from thinking there’s something missing in you. It just is what it is. The quicker you let it go, the better for you.
11. Dosti bina toh pyar hota hi nahin
Translation: There’s no love without friendship. Film: Kuch Kuch Hota Hai Having said that, friendship should be the cornerstone of a relationship, so never stop being each other’s friends. Not every friendship may be romantic; but every romance should also be a friendship.
12. Ek aurat ki mohabbat aur ek mard ki mohabbat mein bahut fark hota hai
Translation: There’s a difference between a woman’s love and a man’s love. Film: Veer-Zaara Men and women tend to express love differently and prioritise different things in a relationship. That’s not to say that all the stereotypes are real – for example, it doesn’t always mean that women are the more sensitive ones; it doesn’t always mean that men want sex all the time. But when it comes down to it, in most cases, the two sexes see relationships differently. So it’s probably a good idea not to expect your partner to behave the way you do. Just because they don’t love you the way you want doesn’t mean they don’t love you the way they know, right?
13. Hum log regular log hai. Aam janta. Mango people. Hum ko practical hona hai.
Translation: We’re regular people. The common man. We need to be practical. Film: Love Aaj Kal It would be really, really, really awesome if relationships worked out the way they did in the movies. But most times, they don’t – so it’s probably a good idea to stop holding your own love story to the standards of Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge.
14. Ek ladki sirf itna hi chahti hai… ki koi usse itna pyar kare… jitna kisi ne kisi se na kiya ho.
Translation: A girl only wants that someone should love her to an extent that no one has ever loved anyone before. Film: Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Even keeping in mind that love stories don’t pan out like the movies, many women – and men – still have the basic need of feeling loved and cared for by the person they’re in a relationship with. The good news is that this does not necessarily need grand gestures – more often than not, it is the small things that are the most important. So never forget those, and never stop doing those!
15. Bade bade deshon mein, aisi choti choti baatein hoti rahti hain.
Translation: In big cities like these, small things keep happening. Film: Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge Don’t sweat the small stuff. Stand your ground for the important things, but let the tiny issues go. Pick your battles.
For more fun and interesting Bollywood lists, visit MissMalini.com!