Someone actually asked me to write a blog about this and I thought it would be fun to do it this way; with a little help from my friends 🙂
So I asked them two questions: Guys from you I need the biggest challenges you face when trying to talk to a girl in Mumbai and experiences that have led you to crash and burn/also those that worked the best. Girls from you I’d like your top Do’s and Don’ts for guys. What do you find attractive (or not) about a guys approach especially when its a stranger at a club. A funny/sweet incident of one such interaction/if any. Ready for the ugly truth?
Serena Vora
Do’s:1. Bring chivalry back. Just because it’s the 21st century doesn’t mean girls will shun you if you buy them a drink or hold the door open for them.2. Be clear who you’re hitting on is the girl who you’re talking to or her friend, you’ll come across as a player if you hit on both.3. If the girl has shown no interest in carrying a conversation with you then walk away without creating a fuss.Don’ts:
1. Don’t put on a fake accent when you go up to a girl because if she’s actually from another country (like me) you’re going to look like a real dumbass, we know when the accent is fake and it’s not cool.2. Don’t namedrop within 5 mins of meeting a girl, we don’t care if the owner of the bar/lounge is your bff, you’ll come across as being pompous.3. Don’t go up to a girl when you’re drunk and slurring, don’t think I have to explain why not.4. Don’t take a girl’s number if you don’t plan on ever calling her and don’t be over friendly by asking for her BB pin.5. Don’t use cheesy pickup lines, you’re not being funny.
Andrea Brown
Do’s:
1. Introduce yourself. You are a lot less likely to be referred to as Mr. Creep Guy if there is a proper introduction.
2. Use a handshake. If you are a complete stranger and we have no mutual friends there is probably no reason for a kiss on the cheek buddy.
3. Break the ice. There’s nothing worse than when there is dead silence after an introduction.
4. Ask the girl what and if she’d like to have a drink. It’s much easier to accept a drink once you’ve seen the bartender pour it with your own eyes.
5. Silly pick up lines are funny. Even if they don’t work, they will leave the girl with a good laugh and story.
6. Smile. It’s adorable.
Don’ts:
1. Tell me who your daddy is or how much you make.
2. Stare for prolonged periods then approach. Creepy.
3. Ask me how long I am traveling for.
4. Use “do you speak English” as your opening line aka guy at XXX launch and later at Trilogy *lol*
Trishna Mathews
Do’s:
1. Play it cool, don’t seem desperate. A simple, “hey my name is _____, what your name?” as an intro line works, then have a 5min convo and leave!!!
2. Try and give her a little info about yourself in this time basics like where your from; line of work etc.
3. Find a common topic to bitch about helps (ex: crib about poor service at the bar, something very neutral and not personal.)
4. If you really like her, ask her out for a coffee at the end of the night (that’s if your sure your never gonna see her again) if you know you have common friends and will bump into her sooner than later then you can wait till you meet her next.
5. Pay some attention and notice what she is like, what drink does she drink, how she dresses; tells you a lot about what kind of person she is. In Mumbai however girls always go out with a group of guy friends so make sure you approach her when she is away from the group for sometime.
6. BE CHIVALROUS. Goes a long way… women like to feel protected and show her a glimpse of that, maintain enough distance when your having a convo please do not stick to us.
7. Smell good.
Don’ts:
1. The one thing that Indian men do at clubs or bars is stare at you like idiots and will not come up and speak to you. I hate that… I think its pretty easy to tell when a girl likes you and is looking at you. Please grow some balls and actually go and introduce yourself to her in a decent non-creepy way.
1. Don’t be afraid of rejection, its a part of life if a girl doesn’t in fact wanna know you more that does not mean something is wrong with u maybe you’re just not her type, so brush it off and move on to the next!
Milena Raskovic
Do’s:
When a guy comes across as a true gentleman. Speaks eloquently, lights your cigarette and doesn’t intrude on your personal space. Tall, dark, handsome and just a little bit broody!! 🙂Don’ts:1. When a guy behaves like a jackass. Crass, thuggish behaviour is an absolute turn off. Talking too much and talking themselves up.Delusional/Stalking behaviour (happens far too often)2. A few guys have recently stalked me on FB (just sending inane messages about how they’re new in town etc etc.) I have consistently ignored their attempt to connect with me. Then you meet them at various events, still not showing any signs of interest, they keep coming up to me throughout the night, completely ignoring the fact that you have nothing to say to them. And my favourite is when they meet you again at another party and they re-introduce themselves: “I don’t know if you remember, but we met last week and I have sent you an FB friend request… but it seems that you have deleted your account”. Completely delusional.Moral of the story: If you don’t get anywhere after a couple of attempts, just have some dignity and learn to give up. Unfortunately no one has been able to sweep me off my feet in a club – so far! 🙂 So no sweet stories to share!!
I find it mildly ironic that out of the many guys I asked one said, “*lol* the last time I tried was so long ago I can’t remember! Will read it when it comes out and get some tips!” and just one actually replied – with some pretty exceptional advice I might add. Props to you my friend, you remain a legend 🙂
P.S. This also also explains the behavior of men to me, to a T.
Zenith Shah
“Don’t be aggressive, pay attention – but not to much. Best bet is to treat them as if they have a boyfriend, and you have no interest….”
It goes without saying I’m hoping you’ll leave a comment below with your views on the subject!!! xoxo