Sorry this took so long but if you’ve been following me on Twitter you probably know life has been pretty damn hectic lately! But I’m here now and (hopefully) that’s what matters… So I was in Delhi a few weeks ago and scoped out the party circuit. Not bad at all I have to say, but forgive my Bombay disdain at the quality of men at Arjun Rampal’s swanky nightclub “Lap” (my apologies Sing Sing, John Doe & GNC Addict if you were there, but wtf is wrong with your Delhi boys?)
Picture this:
MissMalini and a friend are standing and smoking in the hallway:
Random Delhi Boy: “Are you gals from Delhi?”
MissMalini’s friend: “No.”
Random Delhi Boy: “Bombay?”
MissMalini’s friend: “Yes.”
Random Delhi Boy: suddenly super smug “Oh, Prive!”
MissMalini & friend: Eh?
Wait, wait, wait. What just happened here? Was random Delhi boy:
a) suggesting we look like the girls from Prive (aged 15-21) or
b) was this his brilliant attempt at impressing us, that he too (amazingly) knew the name of a SoBo club in Bombay and this somehow made him cool? Oh barfaroni.
Apologies for the rant but the rest of my trip was pretty spectacular! Thanks to my awesome Delhi crew (headed by a former Bombay girl, and author of this fab bliss.body blog, DiyaK.) I got to check out Ice Lounge, Zoo Bar, Ai and like I said, Lap. Plus I spent time in actual human-size houses with stairs and driveways lined with trees instead of crammed-in-a-shoe-box apartment after-parties of my beloved Bombay!
The Bar Hop…
Ai: (Saket) A.D. Singh’s fabulous Japanese restaurant, the food is fab, the drinks are potent and the terrace is super breezy. I’m told there is an upstairs, but I never made it there.
Ice Bar/Lounge: (Saket) Great novelty factor. You show up, drop 1000rs, get geared up in a woolly poncho and gloves (boots too if you’re really fragile) and are ushered into an icy chamber with rainbow lighting and a variety of ice sculptures. Your entry ticket buys you a vodka drink in a glass (also made of ice) which they ask you to hold on to for your next paid drink. You manage to pose for a picture on the ice throne before you can no longer feel your toes. The good thing is they have a second bar outside the freezer room and two DJs who are more than willing to play requests.
Zoo Bar: (Garden of 5 Senses) aptly located since you need all 5 of your senses to navigate your way in and out Indiana Jones style. Its dark but really cool outside where you can actually have a conversation while inhaling copious amounts of incense (great way to mask the weed everyone is smoking I imagine.) The inside bar has a trippy ceiling and several shiny disco balls and the DJ has a giant chip on his shoulder. Should you ask him to play music with lyrics he will most likely give you this response, “I only play house man, only house.”
Lap: (Hotel Samrat) Quite literally the lap of luxury. You need a connection (the guy who knows a guy) to get you in, but you’ll still drop 2000rs just to pass go. Wall-to-wall red carpetting, swarovski diamond-studded cusions and a giant screen behind the DJ go a long way in giving you the OTT vibe. You’ll only notice certain bits have a banquet hall feel if you’re accidentally still sober by the time you get there. Don’t be alarmed if on a visit to the little girls room to powder your nose you see some rich brat handing out party favors (also of the powdered variety) to his friends. Sab kuch chalta hain, besides how else do you expect anyone to stay up till 6:00am night after night?
The next day I spent time with my mom at a fabulous little restaurant called Lodi, the garden restaurant tucked inside, obviously Lodi Gardens. (Bollywood Trivia Lovers: this is where they shot the song “yeh kahan aa gaye hum” from the film Silsila, obviously not the snowy bits.) Its gorgeous, the food is great and they have those little mist spray thingies to cool you down. To top it all there was a Bonsai exhibition on and I don’t know if you know this but I love Bonsai trees. I always imagine shrinking a la Alice in Wonderland and walking into one of their lush green scenes to a magical world. (Yes, I seriously do think about these things sometimes, same with paintings that have a lone canoe in them, no idea why!) follow that up with Sunday champagne brunch at the Oberoi and before you know it you’re biting the face off of a chocolate Easter bunny and cracking open the boiled Easter eggs… (don’t ask.)
Ohhh and the other cool thing my crew in Delhi showed me was this funky little two-seater electric car known as the Reva (OMG it comes in convertible pink too!) How cute is this albeit a tad intimidating in Delhi traffic (which FYI is just as bad as Bombay, wtf is everyone gonna do during the Commonwealth Games?) By the way K, Noddy called – he wants his ride back pronto.
Oh and P.S. Go Air SUCKS! I spent a good 2 hours at the airport and another one in the plane waiting for them to get their act together. All this after having argued with the helpline attendant who kept telling me my flight was on time while I was sitting in the lounge waiting for a plane that hasn’t even landed from its previous destination an hour after its scheduled departure time (thank God for airport foot massages.) Which is why I find their in-flight flyer equally amusing and distressing. Such uncertain language to describe your services is undoubtedly a subconscious cry for help! Also that last bit “to be most reliable, it is not just enough to be on time…” What say we at least start with being on time and then go looking for that vague “even more” eh? Baby steps people, baby steps is all I’m saying…