WHAT IS MY LIFE???!!!
I have no words. Only THIS video, to express the true epic-ness of what just happened.
Did Shah Rukh Khan & Kajol (the original Raj & Simran) just call to give me Bollywood Gossip?! YES.
Is this possibly the most amazing thing that’s happened to me since I started my blog? Pretty much. WATCH! xoxo
TRANSCRIPT
(Scene 1 – Kajol and Shah Rukh Khan are having a conversation…)
Kajol: I have to tell you something, that story you leaked about Varun and Kriti’s relationship… SUPERB idea! Superb. Marketing genius you are!
SRK: I told you, I’m very smart! (Kajol laughs)
SRK: I told you in My Name is Khan you don’t believe this and all… but you know for marketing you have to do all this gossip stuff and all because it works and anything for the film ya!
Kajol: Hmmm…
SRK: But, but, but, but, you have to promise me you will NEVER EVER until your dying day tell anyone that you and I were responsible for this…
Kajol: NEVER! Never, no I swear!
SRK: Pakka?
Kajol: Pakka!
SRK: Promise?
Kajol: Promise!
(SRK and Kajol do the KKHH handshake)
SRK: No, that was silly. Lets do something more serious…
Kajol: Yeah.
SRK: Pinky swear?
Kajol: Just you and me!
(SRK and Kajol shake pinkies and walk off screen…)
(Scene 2 – 5 minutes later… split screen)
SRK: (into phone) Hello?
MissMalini: (answers phone) Hey Shah Rukh!
SRK: Listen MissMalini, I know you’re going to find out eventually who broke the Varun and Kriti story, but I hate to say it… but it was totally Kajol!
MissMalini: Oh my God, I was wondering who that was! (call waiting beeps) Oh, hold on, Shah Rukh, I’m getting another call… (switches calls)
SRK: Yeah…
Kajol: Hey MissMalini!
MissMalini: Kajol!
Kajol: I have gossip for you! You know that Varun and Kriti story that you guys printed… yeah? It was totally Shah Rukh! I tried to stop him, but you know what he’s like!
MissMalini: (Confused) Okay… hold on one second. (presses a button on phone) Hey, are you sure, this is how those rumors started?
Kajol: (together with SRK) Yes! It was Shah Rukh!
SRK: (together with Kajol) Yes! It was Kajol!
SRK: Kajol?!
Kajol: Shah Rukh?!
Malini: (eyes wide, looks at phone) Oh shit!
SRK: Kajol?!
Kajol: Shah Rukh?!
SRK: Ooooh! Subah subah tum shuru ho gayi Madonna!
Kajol: Yeh joke tha?
SRK: Tha toh?
Kajol: I don’t like jokes
SRK: I don’t like you!
MissMalini: Okay guys, take a chill pill….
Kajol: You only tell me MissMalini, is this right?!
SRK: Ya ya ya you tell me, MissMalini! MissMalini? But aren’t you Mrs. Malini?
Kajol: Ya I thought you were married na?
MissMalini: (amused) yaaa, but MissMalini has a better ring to it…
SRK: (in agreement) Ya ya that’s true MissMalini sounds single and nice and yeah…
Kajol: Listen! Don’t change the topic! I didn’t expect this from YOU, Shah Rukh, paise ke ameer, dil ke gareeb, kabhi na jaaye Ishwar ke kareeb!
SRK: God, you’re so cheap!
Kajol: Soh toh main hoon!
MissMalini to camera: Vade log, vadi vadi baatein!
SRK: Kajol, aaj ke baad mujhe apna chehra mat dikhana, jaan lelunga.
Malini: But Shah Rukh, she’s your best friend ya!
SRK: Haan haan, Bollywood ke saare pagal mere hi dost hai!
Kajol: Keh diya? Bas keh diya.
SRK: Eh! That’s not even our dialogue Kajol by the way!
Kajol: Listen, Mr Khan –
SRK: Ah. It’s Khhh-an, Khan from the epiglottis!
Kajol: Ya ya, your name is Khhhhhan and you are a CHEATER!
SRK: Don’t call me a cheater!
Kajol: But that’s what you are! Cheater, cheater, cheater!
SRK: Kajol, cheater nahin –
Kajol: (louder) Shah Rukh is a cheater, he is a cheater, he is a cheater – CHEATER!
SRK: Na na na na na, na na na na na
MissMalini: (hangs up) Hum thode shareef kya hogaye, duniya badmash ban gayi!
AND scene! *MissMalini drops mic and walks into 2016 like a boss.* Thank you Shah Rukh Khan, Kajol and the entire cast and crew of Dilwale for making 2015 my most epic year in Bollywood yet! #tothemoon we go!